You Can't Microwave Love, The Wrapper Says So
by sallysassalot
Summary: “You taste like strawberries,” he noted in his usual monotone whisper, though his heart was practically thumping its way clear past his ribcage and out of his chest. BRENBOOTH, ANGHOD,ZACKOC. R&R PLEASE AND THANK YOU
1. introduction

_Present Day: A Tiny, Tiny Intro_

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"You can stop that any day now," Hodgins stated matter-of-factly as he stood over (and a few feet away from) the smaller figure draped over the toilet of the third stall in the Jeffersonian's cramped men's restroom. Both hands were placed atop his head in a rested formation, and he was more aware of the absence of his curls then ever. 

"… wishing I _could_," Zack Addy mumbled both curtly and with a slight glare in the general direction of his gathering audience of viewers.

"Maybe its just _heartburn_," Booth suggested with hopeful naivety to the female counterpart on his right, her dark features becoming constricted and taught at his comment.

"For _two weeks_ now, Booth?" Angela griped as she shot him a fierce look. Her fingertips were nervously fidgeting with the large turquoise pendant that was strung casually around her neck on a series of leather strings. "No, it's definitely something else; something _bad_." The sound of warm vomit splattering against the cracks of the tiled floor beneath their feet quickly drew a hushed silence amongst the whisperers. Booth's cheeks became instantaneously sallow as he shrunk back from the crowd.

"Ah _shit_!" Hodgins heaved an exasperated sigh, his shoulders slumping as his hands slid across his cheeks absently for a brief moment. "He actually threw up this time. Can someone go get me a bottle of water or something? _And some paper towels_," he called out as a few of the onlookers scurried away from the tense scene. "Goddamnit all Zack," he groused softly, though the concern for his colleague and friend were clear throughout every centimeter of his face.

"I'll go call Lullah's school and see how quickly someone can get her here," Angela offered gently as she placed a reassuring kiss along the side of her beau's neck. "You just stay here and keep doing what you're doing."

"Actually I can go pick her up if she needs me to." The corners of Booth's lips twirled into a slight smile as he continued, "Lulu and I are starting to get some good old fashioned repartee going these days."

"Oh, take some official looking car." Hodgins' eyes lit up immediately as an idea coursed through his brain. "I mean, how many high school kids can say they got picked up by the FBI while they were taking notes on how to calculate the area of a triangle with a tumor growing out its side?" Angela rolled her eyes.

"Take my car if you have to. Don't listen to him. Just get her here and find Brennan while you're at it and we'll all just sit down and figure out what to do next. Okay? Okay."


	2. chapter one, pt one

_About Two Weeks Prior: Chapter 1_

PART 1

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"Now remember when we get to the gala just stay around us and try not to talk too much to the people around you," Hodgins grunted as his left hand gently flicked the knob for the turn signal, steering the car easily as the light turned a faint shade of green. He was dressed rather smartly, a small black bowtie centered between two crisp white points of his tuxedo's collar. Angela sat beside him in the front passenger seat, her eyes fixated on the full glowing orb that was the night's moon. 

"It's just following us," she murmured absently as she shifted her position in the seat, straightening the hem of her short, burgundy dress; a color that matched that which was painted on her half parted lips. Hodgins cracked a smile as he laughed slightly under his breath, his head shaking for a moment as he reached out to give her leg an affirmative pat.

"Someone's been doing a little pre-gaming without me I see," he chuckled as his gaze quickly lifted towards the rear view mirror before settling back on the sights before him. Angela tore her attention from the heavenly abyss above and smirked dryly, the motion of her neck causing a commotion as her earrings jangled noisily.

"These things are full of nothing but snobs that have nothing better to do than talk about their money. God, rich people," she finished with a hint of a smile as her brows arched with feigned naivety. Hodgins gasped dramatically, his right hand clutching at his heart as he tapped the brake lightly with his foot.

"_Hurtful_, Montenegro." The sound of a throat clearing came suddenly from the back seat of the vehicle. "Yeah, Zack?" Hodgins peered back at him once more through the rear view mirror, slightly amused at his colleague's rigid posture and apparent confusion.

"If I'm not supposed to talk to the people then won't they think I'm rude and stuck up?" he asked hesitantly as a hint of a flush crept slowly across the apples of his cheekbones.

"Trust me," Hodgins assured. "You'd much rather they think you're stuck up then realize you're a walking brain." Zack's shoulders slumped a bit at the dig, his full lips curving downwards into the beginning of a pout.

"What my would-be husband _means_ to say," Angela quickly corrected as she swiveled about, "is that these are people who are used to feeling superior. To _everyone_. It probably wouldn't matter if you were the Queen of England, as cliché as that sounds, but they'd still probably treat you like crap. These are the people who if you open your mouth and start spouting facts and correcting everyone – well they're not going to find it as charming and cute as the rest of us. They'll just take it as an insult and Cam has insisted we all simply put on our most darling smiles and win everyone over to the best of our abilities." She smiled apologetically with a small shrug of her shoulders as if to say, "There's nothing I can really do about it." Zack nodded begrudgingly though it was clear he was somewhat crushed at Angela's encircling bluntness.

"I can still talk to my date, right?" he inquired softly as his fingertips fiddled with the strap of his seatbelt which had been irritating him throughout the entire ride.

"We're almost there," Hodgins comforted as he caught sight of his friend's uneasiness. Buildings loomed about them on all sides and the moon's light was growing dimmer as it faded behind shops and hotels upon hotels, each one more lavish than the next. "We're getting into the right part of town. It shouldn't be more than a couple of minutes, parking included." Zack's fingers slid from the worn plastic and fabric of the seatbelt, his features easing with relief. "And if you wanted to talk to a date you should've thought ahead of time to bring one. I don't even think the most desperate prostitute will agree to something this boring for such short notice."

"And such short cash," Angela teased as she fished her wallet from her small metallic clutch. "I left almost everything at your place and the last time I checked they don't take credit cards." Hodgins beamed with pride as he looked over at his fiancé as she shoved her wallet back into the tight depths of the tiny bag.

"The fact that you would even know that is so hot," he mumbled with a grin, reaching over to wrap his large hand around her own, giving it a light squeeze. Angela's brow lifted once more as she burst into ringing peals of laughter.

"The prospect of herpes and crabs is _hot _to you? Listen, Jack. If you want to see me get it on with another woman at least have the decency not hire a hooker for the job. _Honestly_. I have enough going on in my life I don't need my cell phone to send me reminders twice a day to take a shot of penicillin for the itching."

"So you're not completely ruling out the idea of a woman?" Hodgins remarked incredulously as though everything else she had said had passed through one ear and completely out the other without so much as a dent. Angela groaned aloud, the sides of her smile curved as she slapped his arm rather playfully.

"_Men_. You're all the same."

"Hey, now. I just said it would be hot for you to _be_ with another woman. Don't go and stick with them completely now. I know some men love the lesbians but I'd prefer it if you still wanted to sleep with _me_."

"But I _do_ have a _date_," Zack interjected irritably yet still as though none of the side conversation had been taking place.

"Honey, you're sitting in the back of the car next to an empty seat. If you're planning on slapping a coat of lipstick on your hand and romancing it in the bathroom to pass the time please don't let us know. It's one of those things I can stand to go without _ever_ knowing." A sympathetic grin wormed its way upon her graceful features as her fingertips grazed across the nape of her neck to readjust her jewelry.

"I'd name her Chiquita," Hodgins announced with subtle glee as his pupils shimmered with excitement. Angela's brow creased.

"And you'd name _who_ this?"

"My hand," he said as he stared at her with profound awe that it hadn't been as obvious as he had thought. "Get some pale red gloss and draw on those perfect little pieces of two muscles cascading into one shape," his voice lilted off in imaginary splendor as his grip on the steering wheel tightened for a turn.

"Only you could turn something so utterly repulsive and _creepy_ into something as poetic as _that_." Angela shook her head, her mane of dark tresses billowing around her chiseled yet feminine features.

It was apparent Zack was growing agitated as he wrestled aimlessly with remaining still taught seatbelt, fingers clawing with an uncharacteristic primal series of muted grunts as he tried to free himself from the fabric confines. "My date's name is Lullah. I met her at the coffee shop when Dr.Brennan sent me to go help identify the victim from our last case. Apparently no one knew her but I had to stay there for at least an hour or else Dr.Brennan would feel I performed my job insufficiently so when she asked if I wanted to order something I invited her out for tonight," he rambled hastily in a monotonous tone.

"Shouldn't you have asked her to ride with us?" Angela questioned curiously. Zack continued to fidget, his cheeks flushing deeply once more.

"Chill out, man. We're in the parking lot now. You can take your seatbelt off if it's pissing you off this much." Hodgins rolled his eyes, giving the circular form a stiff jerk to the side as he began to ease the bulk of the car into a space that was no doubt too small. Zack's eyes lit up with a muted flare.

"The seatbelt was designed to protect the human form from harm should the vehicle move or be moved in a manner that is unsafe to the passengers or person driving. You're not supposed to remove it from its place until the car is fully turned off and has come to a complete stop in a safe environment to exit the doors," Zack corrected as his posture eased at the miniscule distraction. He took a small breath. "And I didn't ask her to ride with us because that would require staying with us until we leave."

"So?" Hodgins asked as he twisted the key's that dangled merrily from the ignition. The car gave a tiny splutter as it stilled, silence overwhelming the small space inside all at once. Angela craned her neck over her shoulder towards Zack, a knowing smile illuminating her face.

"So he's being a gentleman, knowing that if she's having a horrible time she has an easy way out. She's not trapped to stay until the night is over." Unclasping his seatbelt with a sigh of relief, Zack's face crumpled uncomfortably and with dubious plight.

"I've been _told_," he paused with awkward rue, "that I'm not the best at dating," he murmured robotically as he shot both Hodgins and Angela a pitiable look.

"Hey man, we've got your back. If you need us at all tonight just let us know and we'll throw you a bone." Hodgins replied with encouragement, giving Zack's shoulder a tight squeeze.

"That would hurt if I didn't catch it," Zack's gaze switched between the both of them with a shining appearance of bewilderment. "I'd prefer it if you didn't throw anything. Just in case it hits Lullah."

"Oh yeah, this is going to be _great_," Angela muttered sardonically. "Just great."

"Thank you," Zack responded with a stiff nod, the smooth epidermis of his palms glimmering with nervous perspiration. "Oh and one more thing," he stammered lightly as he began to blot the growing pools of condensation from his hands along the surface of his slightly unkempt hair. It had been cut and trimmed neatly just months before but he had found less and less time to keep up with his newfound _mature_ persona. "The last time I brought a date to one of these functions she left twenty minutes in and there was a free bar and I got so drunk that I started doing my karaoke version of _She Works Hard For The Money_ in front of everyone. Please don't let that happen again if things should not end ideally." Hodgins guffawed with amusement.

"I remember that," he said between teary breaths as the memory returned. He paused, dabbing the sides of his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve, his upturned lips suddenly hardening between confusion and disappointment. "Wait a minute. But there wasn't even a karaoke machine that night, just a bunch of big wigs sitting around eating lobster and talking finance."

Guilt and remnants of shame filled Zack's countenance as he gave a curt nod and winced. "_Exactly_."


	3. small interlude

_Small Interlude: Back to the Present_

Brennan's fingers ached from the strength of Booth's grip. It took all her energy to maintain her firm glance, refusing to let a smile shimmer through on the contours of her nude lips. Stationary, he barely flinched from his seated position just inches away. Her eyes could still glimpse traces of vibrant white epidermis just across his knuckles. Everything about him was tense and busting over with anxiousness; from the glower that sullied his cheekbones down to his mouth – to the simple crinkle of his furrowed brow. "I don't understand you," she said, breaking the silence at last. Booth's shoulders lifted slightly at the sudden sound of her careful voice.

"Elaborate, Bones." His tone was chilled yet far from hostile. He bristled protectively, arms suddenly folding across his chest as if to create an unbreakable fortress around himself; locking himself into permanent safety from thought, speech, and emotion.

"I don't understand how you can stomach your career and still let something as normal as what's been going on with Zack shake you up like this." Booth grunted with disdain.

"I am _not_ shook up," he argued passively, his expression showing that he was clearly miffed at her doubt. "Okay? I don't get shook up." His temper quickly flaring defensively, he straightened his shoulders with an acute haughtiness. However, there was a lingering sense of grief in the depth of his eyes as though he hadn't the energy to truly dispute her statement. Brennan shrugged with nonchalance.

"It's okay if you are Booth. A lot of people can't handle watching someone they love fall sick." Booth's mouth twisted into an expression of horror and laughable disgust.

"Let's get one thing clear, first things first. I don't _love_ Zack. He's a squint and he's damn good at his job so any and _all_ concern that I may show towards his current condition is merely based upon the fact that I would prefer him to get better and get back to performing at his normal genius."

"Are you really that incapable of admitting you care for someone, even if it's as machismo of a connection that an older brother shares with his younger brother?" Brennan's smirk was growing rapidly as she watched her partner squirm and stew all at once. "I don't see how it makes you any less of a man. If you look at this from an anthropological view," she began despite a sudden groan coming from Booth's parted lips. "I _said_ if you look at this from an anthropological view you're the leader of the group. Zack isn't as strong as you. He may have more knowledge, but he can't protect himself the way that you can and therefore you have adopted the role of the protector whether you realize it or not."

"Bones, just because I don't enjoy being around people who are sick does not mean I am frustrated with myself for thinking I've failed at taking care of the squints. For someone who doesn't trust psychology you sure expect others to trust your well thought out evaluations." There was a slight rap at the door of the office.

"If you two lovers have a moment, I have the unfortunate task of informing you that Zack managed to hurl crackers and grape juice all over the remains," Angela announced dryly though shamelessly amused at the immediate flush that crept across both faces before her at the less than subtle hint of attraction. "Hodgins is working on cleaning everything up without compromising the evidence but I'm not sure how great that's going to go. Zack did a pretty good number on it if you ask me."

"Thanks, Ang'." Angela returned Brennan's sympathetic smile. "I'll come see what I can do in a minute. Do me a favor and see if you can find out if there's any more of those pills that helped yesterday. I think Hodgins said he used them all up but just check to make sure there aren't any just lying around, will you?"

"Sure thing. Booth, come join?" She offered her arm with a cunning grin as Booth shuffled from his seat with an unapproachable sigh. "Oh, _grumpy_! Don't tell me someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Angela panned sardonically, her lips pursed and brow taught. "Well nothing cheers a surly cop up like drug hunting in the Jeffersonian I've heard so _boy_ are you in luck today."

"Angela?" Booth muttered with a wince.

"Yes?"

"Be quiet."


	4. chapter one, pt two

_an: i apologize for the amount of time this has taken me. life has been keeping me rather busy but i will still be writing this. please keep reading and reviewing so i know continuing is desired!

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_

_Chapter 1_

PART 2

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"I don't want to jinx anything for you Zack, but I really think everything is going well. I mean it actually seems like your date's having a nice time," Angela whispered with an impressed smirk as she gave her friend's shoulder a gentle nudge. "Jack loves her, I love her - she's even getting along with _Brennan_. I definitely think you've got a keeper on your hands." Zack returned her smile politely, glancing briefly over his shoulder to watch Lullah hold a rather animated conversation with Hodgins, the two of them chortling together like schoolgirls. 

"It's been almost two hours and she hasn't made some excuse to leave yet," he muttered with relieved bewilderment as his attention returned to the table before them. Upon it were miles of delicacies that ranged from foreign pastries to sausages flavored with the finest spices. A decadent fish tank loomed on the far corner, tropical colored tails swishing playfully back and forth as they dove between the large chunks of brightly lit coral that had been placed throughout.

Booth, who had been standing close by quickly interjected, a filled platter of assorted truffles clutched between both of his hands. "Yeah, well _I _don't like her."

"You've got to be kidding me," Angela scoffed as she snatched one of the small chocolate candies from his plate, shoving it between her slinky lips with a satisfied grin. "Oh, _delicious_," she cooed a moment later as her lashes fluttered in a pleasing manner.

"Look, I'm not saying that she's not a nice person or anything but there's definitely something suspicious about her. She's got half the traits of a person who doesn't want to be recognized and that just doesn't sit well with me," he grumbled as he shrugged passively, stepping closer towards the tiny cluster so as not to be overheard by anyone else. "Hair dyed black, clearly self cut and rarely taken care of - even the way she's carrying herself. I'd even go as far to wager that if you were to ask, she lives by herself and won't tell you the reason why."

"Actually she lives with her parents," Zack corrected quietly as his cheeks burned mightily as Lullah caught his fixated stare. He waved his fingertips towards her anxiously and quickly shifted his focus to the particles of dust that lined the floor beside his feet. "And I like her hair dark like that. I told her I think it's very pretty. She let her friend cut it for fun."

"See?" Angela laughed as she smiled triumphantly as Booth whose brooding sulk had soured his lips quite obviously as his brow dipped low with the embarrassment of being incorrect. "Not everyone out there has a dark secret to hide, Booth. Sometimes you have to leave the job at the office and come out and play with the normal people." Booth's nostrils flared suddenly as the tips of his ears faded into a pale pink.

"Hey now, that's _my_ line to _you _Squints and let me just clarify that in no way should there _ever _be a reason to compare me to the rest of you, okay?" he spluttered with a wavering temper as the shape of his jaw contorted and clenched defiantly. "I _am_ a normal person," he continued. "Normal is me. Normal, _me_."

"What're you guys talking about?" Booth's face snapped from a rosy hue to a drained ash as Lullah strode towards them, Hodgins close behind. Her face was youthful, framed by satiny jet black bangs that dangled just below her eyebrows. The corners of her eyes had been lined with a dainty strand of lining liquid that slipped easily into a small curve, mimicking an almost Egyptian style with its subdued elegance. Slightly undernourished, though without appearing ill, she wore a creamy hued gown that seemed almost borrowed from childhood cartoons of princesses and princes.

"We were just discussing how the social and economic paths of our generation are going to affect us when we've all retired," Booth lied with a slit gaze and a hesitant smile. Angela guffawed at once, quickly lifting her hands to stifle her laughter though it appeared hard to do so as simple giggles continued to escape through the cracks of her fingers. "Angela, _please_. I mean it's going to be such a shame when the country," he rambled stupidly as Lullah bit the fleshy muscle of her lower lip in perplexed amusement, watching easily as he stumbled about. "When the country -," Booth continued as Zack with abrupt haste, quickly pushed him aside, clumsily grasping his date's arms as he tugged her close to himself and pressed an anxious kiss against the very lips she had been chewing at to maintain silence. Hodgins let out a low whistle, clamping his palm proudly against his friend's back as he shook his head with a grin.

"_You dog_," he muttered, obviously entertained by the unusual display of affection. Zack pulled away slowly, the pupils of his eyes shifting size as light flooded back into them once more.

"You taste like strawberries," he noted in his usual monotone whisper, though his heart was practically thumping its way clear past his ribcage and out of his chest. A bit shocked still, Lullah lifted her hand to reveal an empty plastic glass.

"Daiquiri," she replied stiffly. Her eyes darted back and forth between the crowd of people around them.

"I'm sorry," Zack apologized at once, noting her air of discomfort. "I'm nervous, _really _nervous, and I _don't _feel well and I wanted to kiss you and I think you should come home after this with me and we can do what people on dates do - I think I've heard it referred to as _chill_," he garbled sweetly as his eyes became forlorn and tiny beads of condensation formed along his forehead as he perspired nervously. Lullah's tightened countenance softened and with a fragile breathy sigh she placed her fingertips beneath his quivering chin and pressed her lips tenderly against his, her arm gripping loosely around his neck as she held him there.

"You know, if you two kids want to head back to _chill_," Hodgins began with a smirk, "I've got no problem bailing out of here to drive you back home."

"Isn't that out of the way?" Lullah asked with consideration, her hands idly smoothing down her hair as she tried to conceal the blush that was creeping along her face.

"I live above his garage," Zack stated matter-of-factly as he fidgeted where he stood. "It's a big garage," he quickly assured. "It even has a kitchen." Lullah nodded with understanding.

"Oh no," Angela interrupted vehemently as she shot Hodgins a disapproving look. "You're not ducking out of this early when the rest of us have to stay and make small talk with one suit after the next." Hodgins grunted a dismissive noise, the slim side of his fingertips scaling along the neat trim of his beard momentarily.

"_So_ come with. Brennan is the only one who understands what these people are saying and let's face it; she loves the conversational thrill of proving each and every one of these jackasses wrong for any trivial thing. And Cam, well, see for yourself," he slid his index finger beneath his nose in a clandestine motion, pointing to the figure of their boss wrapped around one of the aforementioned _suits,_ tongues practically stitched together as they held their champagne glasses away from the damage. "I'd say Cam won't mind being left behind."

"I concur," Zack agreed, awestruck at the display of gregariousness of the two entwined bodies before them. He blanched for a split second, the bones of his knuckles flashing a brilliant white as they curled suddenly around his waist in a methodical circular motion as a small gag rose to the muscles of his throat. A small but ailing belch hastened through his nude lips as he let out an infinitesimal groan of queasy discomfort. Lullah quickly snatched his hand, holding it cautiously in her own as she looked him up and down with utmost concern.

"Maybe we _should_ go now," she murmured slowly as she brought his hand against her lips, kissing his rough skin as aerial constellations of light bulbs flickered around them, mimicking a midsummer's horizon. "You're not going to be sick, are you?"

Clearly startled at his body's peculiar reaction, Zack squirmed with agitation as he gulped down a rather wet mouthful of saliva. He gave his head a fervent shake, still quite noticeably confused. "No." He paused, as the pale pink tip of his tongue clambered about uselessly around his mouth. "I don't think so. _Can we go_?" he inquired, his voice rocketing a few tones higher as he squeezed Lullah's hand with visible fluster. There was a rustle of metal as Angela began to mine the depths of her purse, at once producing the object she had been searching for in all of its shining silver glory.

"Keys, check. Passengers, check." A grin illuminated her marvelous features. "Let's ride."


End file.
